A Case of You
by RomanticisedIllusions
Summary: For the past two years, Kate's and Tony's lives have been filled with memories of the past. What happens when they finally have to confront what happened?
1. Kate: Love me Tendonly

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing except my body. And even that's damaged goods considering I was told today that the thumb on my right hand is pretty much out of action for the next month. **

**Tate fans, are you still out there?! I've only just come onto fanfiction but it looks like things are pretty quiet on the Tate front. Other people still worship them, right? Nobody **_**really**_** believes Kate's dead, right? **_**Right?!**_

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It started and ended with Rule 12.

I poke around at the food on my plate, desperately trying not to look at the man sitting opposite me. Karl someone-or-other. Maybe it was a bad idea to agree to go on a date with him. I mean, he's nice, reasonably attractive, intelligent and…_boring_. He's not chauvinistic, immature, arrogant and ultimately irresistible. Karl isn't Tony.

Somehow, I'm able to survive the night. I finish my food, talk, smile without looking him in the eye and even allow him to quickly kiss me goodnight. He smiles, telling me we should do this again. I manage another smile and let myself into my home, knowing there will never be another time.

I can't sleep. Since it ended two years ago, I have been on five dates and none of them have been much of an improvement on the one I just had. They all began and finished with the first date, and it was my fault. No, dammit-it's _his_ fault. I never expected anyone to get under my skin the way he did, I never expected anyone to make me feel the way he did. And now that it's happened, I can't get over it.

It's no use hanging around my home. I throw on my coat, grab my bag and go to my car. I know exactly where I'm driving to. It's the same place I've gone after my first dates for the past two years. It's the same place I go every year on what would be our anniversary if it hadn't ended.

I go back to where it all started. And if I keep enough distance, no one will notice me sitting in my car and staring at a building.

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_I'm still not sure how I agreed to this but somehow, Tony got me spending my Friday night at his apartment. He asked, I said yes and the next thing I knew, I'd walked into DiNozzo's Lair._

"_A movie and dinner," Tony said, bringing the takeaway food to the couch I was seated on. "This sounds a lot like a date, you know."_

"_Don't flatter yourself," I told him as I took my container and a pair of chopsticks from him._

"_So you think 'I'm here because I don't want to spend another Friday night alone' sounds better?" Tony asked with his mouth full._

_I frowned in contemplation. On one hand, he had a very good point. On the other hand, the prospective 'date' next to me had food sticking out of his mouth. It's a toss up. _

"_I thought so," he said with a satisfied smile, taking my silence as an answer in itself. I can't win with this argument, either way._

"_Are you going to start the movie?" I asked with a sigh, staring pointedly at the DVD's menu on the screen._

"_Want me to turn the lights off, Kate?" Tony asked teasingly._

_Normally, I'd think up a quick-witted response but for some reason my mouth failed me that night. I realised just how closely we were seated together on this couch-I could practically smell his aftershave, his cologne, his shampoo-and how all we'd have to do was move just an inch or two closer for our noses to be grazing, for his lips to meet mine. But I didn't want him to kiss me. Did I?_

_I realised Tony was still staring at me, still waiting for some type of anwer so I quickly elbowed him and turned my gaze back to the television._

"_I guess that's a no," Tony groaned, rubbing his ribs where I'd jabbed him._

_He started the movie;_ Rear Window_-my choice from his collection. It was a win-win situation: I got to watch Grace Kelly the style icon and he got to watch a semi-horror movie that still allowed me to sleep at night._

_The movie must have been about half over when I stopped it._

"_What did you do that for?" Tony whined as I got up._

"_I'm thirsty," I said over my shoulder as I walked towards his kitchen. Then my manners got the better of me and I turned to face him. "Do you want anything?"_

"_Wow, Kate-I didn't realise things were moving so quickly between us."_

_I rolled my eyes and took a step backwards, without seeing the cord right behind me. One moment, I was glaring at Tony and the next, I found myself looking at his ceiling._

"_Are you okay?" Tony asked, rushing to my side and trying not to laugh._

_I sat myself up and glared at the culprit: that little, innocent cord snaking along the floor to a powerpoint. _

"_Fine," I told him as I stood up, praying that I wasn't blushing from embarrassment._

"_Maybe I should get the drinks," Tony suggested. "Who knows what you might trip over in the kitchen."_

_I opened my mouth to respond but he'd darted out of the room before I had the chance. With a sigh, I walked back to the couch and sat down._

"_Uh-Tony?" I called out moments later._

_He walked back into the room with two bottles of beer, throwing me an inquisitive look._

"_I think there's something wrong with my thumb," I told him._

"_What's wrong with it?" he asked, sitting down next to me._

"_It doesn't like moving," I announced. "I stuck my hands out when I fell and I must have landed badly on my right hand."_

_He took my hand gently in his and examined my thumb. It surprised me; I'd expected him to laugh my concerns off or give me the beer, a slap on the back and tell me to get over it. I didn't expect him to frown and start playing doctor. I couldn't tell what was more surprising: his concern or the fact that his touch was forcing me to repress shivers of pleasure._

"_Can you move it at all?" _

_I grimaced as my thumb gave a feeble wiggle._

"_I'm pretty sure it's not broken," he told me. "It could be a sprain. We should bandage it up."_

_Tony disappeared into the kitchen again and came back with a first aid kit._

"_I knew someone who sprained the tendon in their thumb once," he said as he started winding a bandage around my hand. _

"_Why do I think this person was a woman?"_

"_She wasn't just any woman-she was a pianist. And she couldn't play the piano for a month afterwards."_

"_Which is where you came in."_

"_Someone had to distract her. I mean, the only two things she was good at were playing the piano and-"_

"_I get it," I quickly interrupted him. "No need to finish the story."_

"_And it was such a good one, too," he said, finishing up the bandaging. "Is it too tight?"_

"_No," I told him as he put the clip in. "Thank you for doing this, by the way."_

_I realised that his hands were still resting on my bandaged hand and I looked up at him in surprise._

"_Tony," I began in a quiet voice, but the other words died on my lips as I completely forgot what I was going to say._

_We leaned forwards at the same time-another thing I couldn't explain, like why I'd agreed to come here tonight and why his touch was sending shivers down my spine. We paused for a moment and I could feel his warm breath on my face before his lips finally closed the distance between us. _

_He kissed me tentatively at first, just brushing my lips with his own. He pulled away, looking in my eyes and when he got the confirmation he needed, he put his hand behind my head and pulled me to him, kissing me deeper, more desperately. I responded just as eagerly as feelings I never expected to feel for Tony swirled about within me. Sure we'd had a flirty, bickering relationship up until now but I never thought anything would come of it._

_I gasped in pain as I absent-mindedly moved my hand, having forgotten all about hurting it before._

"_What is it?" Tony asked as he pulled back, looking at me with concern._

"_My hand," I said apologetically._

"_I can fix that," he told me as he started pulling me towards him again._

_I placed my uninjured hand over his mouth and pulled back._

"_You already have, doctor," I told him playfully. "But I think we should leave it at this for tonight."_

"_You're going?" Tony asked incredulously as I removed my hand. _

"_I am."_

"_How? You shouldn't drive tonight with your hand like that."_

"_Feel like giving me a lift?"_

"_Interesting," Tony said slowly. "If I give you a lift, that means your car will still be here..."_

"_And I'll have to come get it back sometime," I finished for him as I stood up._

_He took a step towards me and started buttoning up the coat I'd just put on. I let him do this, wondering how it had been so easy, so natural for us to slip into this state. He straightened up my collar and pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear and a mild concern settled in. How many other women had he looked at like this?_

"_Kate, if we're going to do this, there's something I want you to know," he told me, playing with a strand of my hair. "I won't treat you like I've treated the others. You're different to them. You deserve more. This is something I've wanted for a long time and I'll try to be better. But I'm guessing that won't always be easy. Are you in?"_

_It was like he'd read my mind, I thought as a smile spread across my face._

"_I'm in," I said. "Let's just take things slow, okay?"_

_I brought his lips to mine for another kiss and then he drove me home._

_I'd never been so grateful for an injury in my entire life._

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I only stay for as long as the memory lasts. I don't want to go past this one memory-not tonight-so I drive back home as soon as it's over.

His light had been on while I was there. I could tell, even from the distance I was at. I don't want to think about what he was doing tonight; who he might have been entertaining.

I pull on the coziest pair of pyjamas I can find and curl up in bed, waiting for sleep to come. It finally pulls me in and I wake up the next morning, relieved that I didn't dream of him.

I don't think I could take dreams on top of the memories.

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**Okay, so Kate's injury may have been inspired by my own current injury… All I can say is; Bose speaker cords are **_**lethal**_**. I was meant to start a Music degree in a week but I think I'm going to have to switch to something else. *Grumbles* Actually, I have another word of wisdom: don't trip over any cords in the hopes of having your own Tony come rescue you. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. You just start giggling at your stupidity (your friends do eventually join in) and then you wake up with a baaad hangover, pretty much unable to move your thumb.**

**End of rant.**

**Anyhow, is it any good? Show your love for Tate (and console me in my sprained tendon agony) and:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Please.)**


	2. Tony: Broken Routines

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Each chapter takes a lot of work and it makes my day to hear your feedback. (And also to know that there _are_ Tate fans out there still!)**

**Sorry it took ages to update but university went back so I'm really busy with that and then I just turned 19-organising parties can take up a lot of your time... But I'm ready to come back to this story if you guys still want to read it!**

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I had planned to spend my Friday night the same way I'd done for the past two years; go out, get drunk and wake up with another girl. But a certain goth with way too much enthusiasm broke my routine. And left me in a pretty big funk.

At first, I wasn't going to let her in. I hid behind my front door that she was practically knocking down, hoping she'd just go away. Abby's visits were never a good sign these days-it meant that she'd seen Kate and was going to try to convince me to get back together with her. Or at least visit her, contact her. It never worked. The only place Abby's visits sent me to was the liqour cabinet.

"I know you're in there, Tony!" Abby yelled after two minutes of knocking (not that I was timing it or anything).

I flattened myself against the door as much as possible, elation flooding through me as I realised she'd stopped knocking. I was about to walk away when my cell phone started ringing in my pocket. Loudly. No prizes for guessing who the caller was.

"I _knew_ it!" Abby called out gleefully. "You can run, Tony, but you can't hid-"

I gave up and opened the door, interrupting Abby mid-sentence.

"Come in," I muttered glumly.

"Why the long face?" Abby asked cheerfully, bouncing into my apartment. "You're normally happy to see me."

"Not when you ambush me at my apartment to talk about...her," I said, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Who?" Abby asked, her wide green eyes staring at me in mock innocence.

"The same person you talk about every time you visit me," I said, sitting down on my couch.

"The one whose name you've forgotten?"

"I haven't forgotten, I just don't like to say it."

"Fine," Abby said in exasperation, sitting next to me. "I'm here to talk about Kate."

"I know."

Abby stared at me while I drank my beer, deliberately avoiding her gaze. She wanted to be here, she could do the talking.

"Well?" she finally asked. "Aren't you gonna ask me how she is?"

"She seemed fine the last time I saw her."

"Two years ago? While she was packing her desk and leaving NCIS?"

"Yep."

Abby groaned in frustration.

"Okay, you know what we need?" Abby asked in the bubbliest voice she could muster. "A change of scenery. I'm taking you out to dinner."

"But-"

"No," Abby snapped, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. "No excuses! I'm sick of this grumpy Tony! So tonight, we're going to have dinner, I'm going to talk about Kate for ten minutes and twenty-two seconds, then I'm going to bring the old Tony back!"

I let Abby drag me out to her car, shove me in and drive me to the restaurant. My mind wandered and for the first time in almost two years, I allowed myself to think about that day when everything changed.

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_Kate had been edgy for the past week. Whenever we were alone, it was like she was somewhere else. Now she was standing in front of me at my apartment, her hands shaking and telling me we need to talk. Not promising._

"_Sure you wanna talk?" I asked her. "There's an empty bedroom waiting for us."_

"_We need to talk," she repeated and that was when I knew something was really wrong. Normally, she'd make some remark about my dirty mind._

"_Is everything okay?" I asked her._

"_Not...not really," Kate replied. "Remember last week, when you were almost shot because you were distracted by something I'd just said?"_

"_I'm not about to forget that any time soon."_

"_Well, it got me thinking. It really scared me, Tony. If something happened to you because I-"_

"_But it didn't," I said, taking her shoulders. "Don't think about it."_

"_I'm worried we'll continue to distract each other at work and that eventually, one of us will have to pay for it."_

"_What are you saying?" my voice quietened and my hands dropped from her shoulders._

"_I think we should take a break," Kate whispered, tears filling her eyes._

_I shook my head. This was just like what had happened three months ago-the day after she'd sprained her thumb and we'd kissed-when she'd started jabbering about Gibbs and Rule 12 and how this would never work. All I had to do was kiss her, tell her we could make this work and take her in my arms, then she'd see sense just like she had three months ago._

"_Kate," I said, taking a step towards her, ready to put my plan into action. But she took a step away from me and grabbed her handbag._

"_Please," she said, and I could hear the quiver in her voice and see the tear that was rolling down her cheek, "don't make this any harder."_

_Without any further explanation she walked out my door._

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"Earth to Tony!" Abby said, waving her hand in front of me. "We're here."

I followed her into the restaurant, sat down and stared expectantly at her.

"Tony, I'm worried," she said. "I mean, you're the same at work and everything but ever since you and Kate broke up, you act grumpy when I find you alone at home."

"Because you always talk about her."

"Don't you think it's a little strange that you can't say her name?"

"Kate!" I almost yelled. "Happy now?"

"No," Abby said. "Because Kate...well, Kate's sad, Tony. And she's been sad for the past two years."

"_She_ broke up with me," I reminded Abby, trying to ignore the pang I'd just felt somewhere near my heart.

"That's not entirely true, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Think, Tony!"

"You mean she didn't 'entirely' break up with me when she said 'let's take a break' and then left NCIS?" I asked, feeling the anger and hurt rising in me.

"Think about in be_tween_ those two things, Tony!" Abby exclaimed in exasperation.

Then I remember. Going out three days after Kate put us on a 'break', getting drunk and taking the first willing girl home with me. Even though I was drunk at the time, I can remember being in bed, the girl-whose name I don't think I ever knew-on top of me and Kate. Standing in my doorway. Staring at me in shock. I'd closed my eyes for a second, convinced I was seeing things, and when I opened my eyes again, she'd gone. The next day, I'd found the spare key I'd given her on my table and when I returned to work on Monday, she was packing her desk and left without saying goodbye.

"You mean the day she gave me back my spare key," I said sheepishly, wondering just how much Abby already knew.

Abby glared at me-_glared_ at me. Abby wasn't meant to look this angry.

"I think you need to ask Kate about what she was _really _going to do that day."

Guilt began to infiltrate my body and even my mantra of "she broke up with you, she broke up with you, she broke up with you" did little to change it. What _had_ Kate been planning to do?

"What's the time?" Abby asked suddenly.

I looked at my watch and was about to reply when I heard her say, "don't worry." She was waving to someone across the room. I looked behind me to see who it was and felt like I'd been kicked in the gut.

Standing in the entrance, gaze shifting from Abby to me, and looking just as surprised as I felt was Kate.

Sitting in front of me, Abby looked more pleased with herself than she'd ever been in her life.

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**Will Kate and Tony sit down and talk about what happened, or will one (or both!) of them try to escape from the pickle Abby's put them in? **

**If you want to find out the answer to this question, there's only one way to make me update faster:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Pretty please.)**

**I'm more than happy to spend my Australian Public Law lectures writing this story instead of listening to our lecturer. As it is, I currently spend them arguing with one of my friends about who's better-Kate or Ziva-so it's not like I'm paying attention anyhow.**


	3. Kate: The Silence of Strangers

**A/N: Sorry! I would have put this up a week ago but everyone in my family got a stomach bug and I was busy juggling being a uni student with being a family nurse. Then I spent the end of the week gloating over how clever I was not to catch it and guess what happened Saturday morning? I knew there was a problem when I woke up at 5.30am… I knew there was even more of a problem when I threw up, actually. **

**Thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers! I can't tell you how much I love reading each one! :)**

**Anyhow, apologies (trust me-I wish none of us had that evil, evil stomach bug!) and here is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy!**

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My first instinct was to run. When I'd slightly recovered from the shock of seeing _Tony_ sitting at the table with Abby, I wanted to turn around and get the hell out of there. But something pulled me back; a part of me knew I would always regret it if I didn't go join them. It had been two years and I still found myself thinking about Tony every day. I needed _some_ sort of closure.

Abby pushed me into the chair she'd been sitting in the instant I reached the table. I must have still been in shock at the sight of Tony because my mouth refused to work and I was pretty certain I was staring at him.

"Okay, here's what's gonna happen," Abby announced to us. "You're gonna sit here, eat dinner and talk. I'll be waiting just outside so don't think that either of you can escape. You're not leaving until you're both the people you used to be before all…_this_ happened. Understood?"

Neither of us answered. I could hardly make sense of what Abby was saying but I suppose she decided our silence was better than one-or both-of us screaming and making a mad dash for the door. She gave an exasperated sigh before heading out of the restaurant, leaving Tony and me alone. Talk about awkward. On the plus side, I'd managed to stop staring at him and was now focused on my hands. Unfortunately, neither of us looked like we were about to talk.

I wanted answers. I wanted to know how he could have moved on from me so quickly. I wanted to know if I had ever meant anything to him at all. I wanted to know if he thought of me nearly as often as I thought of him-if he thought of me at all. But I didn't want to be the one to start talking. And I was worried that if I brought up those subjects, all the hurt I'd been trying to ignore for the past two years would resurface. So I continued staring at my hands.

"Water?" Tony asked me after a few minutes silence, holding out the water jug.

It had been so long since I'd heard him talk to me-since I'd heard him talk at all-that I almost gave a start. But I managed to collect myself in time and squeak out a "yes, please."

I couldn't help but look at him as he poured my water. He looked exactly the same, except for his eyes. They looked…tired, I suppose. They looked the way I'm sure my whole face looked.

"Thank you," I said after he poured my glass. I was grateful to have something to hold in my hands-something to distract myself with-and I started drumming my fingers against the glass.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me.

"Not really."

"Me neither."

We fell into another silence and I felt an overwhelming desire to scream. Since when had we been so polite, so careful around each other? That had never been our style.

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"_God, Tony, you'd think we were going away for a month with the amount of food you packed," I complained, poking around his bag. We'd managed to get away for a weekend and Tony had stuffed his bag with every type of junk food ever made. "And none of it's even healthy."_

"_And you've packed enough clothes to last you a year," Tony retorted as he rummaged about in my bag. "I didn't think we'd be doing that much clothes wearing here…"_

"_Hey! Get away from my stuff!" I cried, walking towards him._

"_You started it," Tony said, taking a step towards me._

"_Well, I had to figure out what the smell coming from your bag was."_

"_I didn't know if we'd be leaving this room at all," Tony told me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "And it wouldn't be fair to you if I didn't have enough energy to make this weekend…worthwhile."_

"_You've got such a dirty mind, DiNozzo," I said, but I couldn't help the smile forming on my lips. _

_Tony lowered his face to mine, stopping just before our lips met. "So will you, after this weekend."_

_His breath on my lips sent shivers down my spine and I managed to whisper "keep dreaming" before anxiously closing the distance between our lips._

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Anger, hurt, confusion and annoyance rose up in me as I realised how different we were around each other compared to a couple of years ago. We were like strangers. I stared at my glass, drumming my fingers against it more insistently.

"So…how have you been?" I asked Tony, careful to avoid his gaze.

"Fine," he replied. Of course he'd been fine-Tony would've had a never-ending supply of girlfriends since I'd left. "How about you?"

"Fine."

I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of letting him know how many nights I'd dreamed about him or how many things reminded me of him or us. Or how I still couldn't think about the last few times I'd seen him because it hurt too much.

The next silence we fell into was unbearable. I was sick of sitting in silence, sick of not being able to say or hear what I really wanted to. There was no point anymore. I stood up and looked him in the eye.

"Goodbye, Tony," I said quietly.

"Goodbye, Kate."

We looked at each other for a few moments as I tried to get the courage to ask him all the questions I wanted answers to. It didn't come. I dragged my eyes away from him and walked out of the restaurant, where Abby was still waiting just outside the door. She looked at me expectantly, hopefully, and I shook my head.

"We tried to talk, Abby," I told her. "There's no point."

"Kate," Abby said, pulling me into a hug.

I let her hug me for a moment before pulling away.

"I know you were just trying to help, but please don't do this again," I said.

Abby gave a nod before I walked back to my car, glad to be alone. My hands shook as I started the engine. It was over. It was really, truly over. Even though I knew that, I kept checking whatever car was behind me, hoping against hope it would be Tony. Coming after me to tell me his side of the story, to try to clear things up, to tell me that I _had_ meant something to him. But it was never him.

I waited until I got home before I allowed myself to cry. I cried as I had a shower, as I got into pyjamas, as I settled on the couch in front of the first thing I turned the TV onto. I cried for the way we used to be, for the way we ended, for the fact that I hadn't been enough for him and for the lousy effort I'd put in tonight. Maybe if I'd tried harder, we would've been able to get somewhere tonight. Maybe we could have cleared up a few issues. Anything other than the stiff, formal conversation and awful silences we'd had.

I almost didn't hear the knock on the door through the TV and my sobs. The first time I thought I heard something, I turned the TV off and wiped my face with a tissue, praying I'd been wrong and hadn't heard anything.

An unmistakeable knock came a few seconds later. I got up with a sigh, making sure my face was tear free. I was certain it would be Abby at the door checking up on me, and I had no idea how I'd be able to convince her I was okay with my red eyes and nose. I walked to my door, deciding I'd just ignore her but as I peered out to check on who it was, surprise flooded through me and I swung the door open.

Standing on my doorstep was Tony, looking like he felt just as good as I did.

"Tony," I said in surprise, my voice still shaky after my sob-fest.

Tony looked into my eyes, one pair of red-rimmed eyes to another, and took a step towards me.

"Why did you come back that night, Katie?" he asked me desperately.

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**By the way, is anyone else shocked at the death of Natasha Richardson?! I've loved her ever since I saw **_**The Parent Trap**_** ten years ago when I was nine. I wanted to be like her character, Elizabeth James… Her death is so tragic and shocking. I just feel so sad about it and so sorry for her poor family! **

**Now, let's move on to a happier topic: TATE!**

**Will they work through their problems and return to Tate goodness?**

**Or will they decide they're better off apart?**

**There's only one way to find out…:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Pretty please.)**


	4. Tony: SNAG

**Once again, thank you very muchly to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I'm so glad that people seem to be enjoying this story because I'm having the best time writing it. Please keep the reviews coming-I can't emphasise the importance of them enough! :)**

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I'd decided on my way there that I wasn't leaving until we'd talked properly. I reminded myself to be ready to stop her from closing the door on me as I waited for her to answer my knocking but in the end, she'd stepped aside so I could come in before I'd even finished asking her my question.

She closed the door behind me and it was then I noticed how different she looked compared to two hours ago. Her eyes were red, her face make-up free and her hair looked slightly dishevelled. This along with the pyjamas she was wearing made her out to be more childlike and vulnerable than I was used to seeing her. I wanted to take her in my arms and make the last two years disappear but I fought that urge and clasped my hands onto the back of the chair in front of me instead.

Kate sat down on the couch across the room and raised her eyes to meet mine. "Does it make a difference?" Her voice sounded uncertain as to whether she wanted it to or not, and she was anxiously biting down on her lip as she awaited my answer.

"We could make it make a difference," I said, the words escaping before I had the chance to edit them.

Kate brought ahand up to her forehead for a brief moment as if she had a headache, and with a sinking feeling of guilt, I wondered just how much I had damaged her. I walked over and sat next to her, making sure not to sit too close or too far away.

"At the very least," I said, "we deserve to tell each other the truth."

"I agree," Kate said, not meeting mygaze. "We _both_ deserve that."

We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us trying to find the guts to be the first to talk. To give explanations about a time neither of us seemed to want to revisit.

"I was...uncertain," Kate finally said.

"Uncertain?" I asked in confusion.

"I thought maybe I'd made a mistake suggesting we take a break. I thought we...that we might be able to find a way to work it out. I was coming there to talk to you but..."

"Shit," I muttered as I put my face in my hands. Everything I'd spent the past two years trying not to feel-regret, guilt and anything else related to Kate-came sweeping through my body with incredible force.

I felt Kate get up off the couch and my head snapped back up. She walked to her bookshelf, pulling out random books and putting them back in, and I remembered how she could never stand to stay still when she was stressed or upset.

"It _was_ two years ago," she said, her back turned to me and her voice flat.

"I'm so sorry, Kate," I said heavily. I could see her try to give a nonchalant shrug but her hand, resting on a book and shaking, gave her away. "Can I tell you my side?"

When she didn't reply, I took her silence as a yes and walked up next to her. She still wouldn't look at me but she didn't move away, either. I decided to accept the risk of possibly being bashed up with the book she had her hands on and took a deep breath.

"It hurt when you said you wanted to take a break. I wasn't expecting it to hurt so much but it did. And I just wanted to be able to forget the pain. So I went out, got drunk..."

I saw her fingers clamp over the spine of a dangerously heavy looking book, her knuckles turning white with the force of her grip, and I took a small step back.

"And you know what happened next," I finished quickly. "Kate, I was so drunk, I hardly knew what was going on. I thought I imagined seeing you until I found your keys the next day."

Her hand fell away from the book and I looked at her face in surprise as she wiped away a tear. I almost wished she'd start whacking me with the book instead of standing there crying. I stepped towards her again, my arms hanging awkwardly by my side as I debated whether or not I should wrap them around her.

"Wasn't I...enough for you?" she asked slowly, her voice quivering as she tried to fight back more tears.

"What?" I said in disbelief. "You were so much more than enough. I'd _never_ felt that way about anyone before."

I'd been so distracted by how upset she seemed that I hadn't noticed the anger that had been lurking behind her tears. I noticed it now, though, as she looked at me directly in the eyes.

"Then how could you fuck someone else?"

"Jesus, Kate!" I yelled, not caring that she took a step back from me in shock at my anger. "Did you ever think about how much _you_ hurt _me_? Because I have, all the time. And excuse me for trying to find something to numb the pain!"

"So what, you just take someone new home every week?" Kate spat out bitterly. "Just like the old Anthony DiNozzo did?"

"You know what, that's _exactly_ what I do," I yelled back. "At least I don't just sulk at home, not even pretending to have a life!"

"Well done, Tony," Kate yelled, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Any trace of tears were long gone by this stage. "Am I supposed to find your sleaziness and complete lack of morals admirable?"

"About as much as I admire your self-righteousness," I bit back.

"Considering how much we like each other, maybe you should just get the hell out of here."

Kate spun around and started to stalk off but I grabbed her arm and pulled her close to me.

"If I could go back two years ago," I told her quietly, "I would've stayed home that night so I never would have lost you."

I didn't wait for an answer. I didn't expect one, either, and I figured this was as far as we were going to go tonight. I dropped her arm and walked out the door, leaving Kate standering there frozen, her mouth gaping open.

I got into my car and drove home. I'd never met anyone who could drive me as crazy as Kate could-and I missed it. I'd missed it non-stop for two years now. A one night stand didn't know you well enough to push the right buttons to have you yelling one minute and in bed the next. I missed watching Kate's cheeks flush as she became angrier, I missed the feel of her body in my arms, I missed knowing someone well enough to be able to tell the meaning of every gesture and to be just as comfortable sitting in silence with them or talking about anything. I even missed her chastising me for my dirty mind.

*************************************

_Kate stumbled into the kitchen wearing one of my t-shirts and stifling a yawn._

"_Breakfast?" she asked sleepily._

_I looked up from the entertainment section of the newspaper and pointed to the bowl of cereal I'd poured for her ten minutes ago. She gave me a grateful smile and settled into the chair opposite me. I handed her the parts of the newspaper I wasn't interested in and went back to reading and eating._

"_Tony?" Kate asked several minutes later._

_I quickly glanced up from the newspaper to show her she had my attention before looking down again. "Yeah?"_

"_Do you think it's bad that we've only been together for a month and we're acting like an old married couple?"_

_She definitely had my attention now. I put the newspaper down and looked at her in surprise. "We do not!"_

_Kate looked at me sceptically. "You know what I eat for breakfast. You know what parts of the newspaper I read. We're sitting here in silence."_

"_Maybe we just know each other well," I said shrugging._

"_This is how my parents act at breakfast."_

"_Ah!" I flinched. "Don't bring parents into this, Kate! I don't even want to _think_ about that."_

"_It's the truth," she said simply._

"_Right," I said firmly, standing up and putting our plates next to the sink. "That's it."_

_Kate looked at me in confusion. "What-"_

_Before she had the chance to finish her question, I picked her up and lay her down on the table, kissing her deeply._

"_Do you think old married couples do this?" I asked her, pulling away from the kiss._

"_Definitely not," Kate answered breathlessly as I removed the top of mine she was wearing._

*************************************

I let myself into my home and sighed. I leaned against the door, running my hands through my hair. It had been maybe four or five hours since Kate and I had been seated in the restaurant and it felt like we'd spent that whole time going around in circles. We tried to talk, we just spent the entire time silent. Then when we actually talked, we ended up screaming at each other. Kate walked out of the restaurant, so I ran after Kate. Then I walked away from Kate and...then what? Would she come running after me or was this it? Had we reached a dead end?

I wished that Kate and I could go back to how we were. But she didn't really seem to be in the mood for forgiveness tonight and a part of me wondered if she ever would be able to forgive me. It didn't seem like two years had really helped her much with that, anyway.

It was up to Kate now. In the past hour, I'd talked more about my feelings than I'd ever done in my whole life. If I wasn't careful, I was going to turn into a pansy. It was definitely Kate's turn to do some talking or make some gesture.

I was debating whether to go to sleep or turn to alcohol when I heard the urgent knock at my door. It had to be Kate. I couldn't think of anyone else who would visit me at this time. I rushed to the door and opened it as quickly as I could.

"I feel like we're playing a game of tennis here," Kate said softly, her eyes fixed on the floor. "And I'm sick of it."

I didn't say anything. I didn't want to start another argument or distract her from telling me why she'd come here.

After a few moments of silence, Kate looked up at me. She took a step towards me, linked her arms around my neck and kissed me.

************************************

**Okay, just in case no one knows, _Twilight_ sucks. (The NCIS episode, not the books/movies of course.) I swore I would _never_ watch it but then I was actually forced to on Easter Sunday. Well, more blackmailed: I was told that it was the only way I could have champagne. And it's champagne, you know. What was I supposed to do? And it was so packed full of Tate goodness and then...and then... *Shudders* Well, you all know what happens at the end. Awful. I actually spent the next day not talking to the blackmailer.**

**Anyhow, we have a decision to make about the next chapter (as in, I want your imput): it could go two ways. Either there's a scene that requires a ratings change for this story (and considering Kate and Tony are currently making out in his doorway, I think we all know what that scene is) or there's not. **

**Now, I'm not promising a happy end if we do get that scene nor am I promising a sad end if we _don't_ get it. I'm not promising anything. I just want to know if people want that scene or not. So let me know and...:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Pretty, pretty please.) **


	5. Kate: Storm in a Teacup

**Thank you again to all the fantastic reviewers of this story! I'm truly sorry that I can't update this story more frequently than I do-I'm just incredibly busy-but if it's any consolation, I skipped my Drama lecture the other day to sit in my car and write part of this chapter. (But I did go to my Criminal Law tute a couple of hours later.) Aren't you proud of me? :)**

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My life hadn't exactly worked out how I thought it would-it had been full of surprises. I thought I'd be a lawyer. I ended up dropping out of law school after a year, finding it completely stifling and unfulfilling. I thought I'd work my way up to career glory in the Secret Service. Instead, I resigned after breaking the rules and sleeping with a colleague. I thought the one thing Tony couldn't resist was sex. But here he was, pulling away from our kiss and disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes, reappearing with two mugs.

"Hot chocolate?" I asked in bewilderment as he handed me mine.

"You may not know this, Kate," Tony said, sitting on the couch and taking a sip, "but I make the best hot chocolate in the world."

I sat down next to him and gave it a try. "It's very good."

We sat in silence for a few minutes as I pretended to be completely distracted by my drink. The one problem kept going around and around in my head, haunting me. I tried to bite my tongue for as long as I could but finally, I had to blurt it out.

"You _do_ want to be with me, don't you?"

Tony turned his gaze to mine and looked at me seriously. "There's nothing I want more. But I think we should take things slow. I've missed you and I just want to be able to enjoy your company-make the most of every moment, remember anything I might've forgotten. Is that okay?"

I nodded, my mouth hanging open slightly. Tony seemed to have matured, despite his string of one night stands in the past two years. It amazed me.

"There's just one condition," Tony said, setting down his mug and taking my hand. "We don't give up on each other. We have to be in this for the long haul."

"I agree," I said, giving his hand a squeeze. "Which means that if we have any problems, we talk to each other about them. As hard as it might be."

"Deal," Tony said, pulling me to him.

My head was resting on his chest and I closed my eyes as he started playing with strands of my hair. I could hear the steady beat of his heart and I lay a hand on his strong, familiar chest, trying to fight the tears forming behind my eyes.

"I couldn't handle loosing you again, Tony," I whispered, keeping my eyes firmly shut in case a tear managed to slip out.

"You won't," he promised, kissing the top of my head. "I'm here."

I breathed in deeply-he smelled like Tony. The life I'd missed non-stop for the past two years. The life-dare I believe it?-that I seemed to have regained, with the promise of being even better than it had been before.

"Come on," Tony said, getting to his feet and pulling me up. "Let's go to bed."

I looked at him in confusion but he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. He scrambled around in his drawers for a moment before turning to face me.

"Here-your favourite," he said, handing me the top of his I'd always worn when I stayed over. I couldn't help the smile that formed or the tears that sprung to my eyes. I was a damn waterworks machine tonight-so unlike me-but by the time I had to look up at the ceiling to force the tears back, Tony had already left the room.

I changed into the top, savouring its familiar feel and scent, and climbed into Tony's bed. _Our_ bed.

He returned a few minutes later in his pyjamas and joined me in bed. I rolled over to face him and he turned off the light, wrapping his arms around me. His lips brushed against mine-the softest, fasted kiss I'd ever had from him.

"Goodnight Katie," he whispered, his finger tracing my jaw line.

"Goodnight Tony."

And moments later, we were asleep.

**********************

When we woke up in the morning, it was raining. We could hear it pelting down and the occasional burst of thunder as we lay in Tony's bed, his arms wrapped around me. Neither of us felt like opening the curtains to see just how grey the sky was-the darkness of the room seemed to be a pretty good indication, anyhow-so we stayed put in bed. We didn't talk much, we mostly lay in silence just enjoying the other person's presence. It was nice to have someone lying next to me, holding me. I'd spent two years trying to convince myself I hadn't missed it, but I had.

"This reminds me of a movie," Tony finally said.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. "Of course it does, Tony."

"Actually, it doesn't," he admitted and I propped myself up on my elbows, looking at him in surprise. "It's just been ages since I said that to you."

I smiled again and brought my lips to his, his arms pulling me firmly against him. In a lot of ways, I felt like I'd spent the last two years virtually devoid of any physical contact and although I'd never been a touchy-feely person, a part of me just wanted to keep on reaching out to Tony. To assure myself he was really there. To assure myself he would be there to hold me, kiss me and love me.

"Let's go out for lunch today," Tony suggested a few minutes later when our lips were no longer attached and my head was resting on his chest.

I listened for a moment to the heavy pounding on the roof and screwed up my nose. "In the rain?"

"We could sit inside at a little café. Order only hot food and drinks. Laugh at the people walking by outside."

"Even though we'll be one of them when we're trying to get to the place?"

"Come on, Kate," Tony whined. "It'll be fun!"

I had to admit, it did sound pretty cosy to sit at a little table with Tony and a plate of steaming soup. But I insisted he take me home first so I could shower and change, which he reluctantly agreed to. I looked at myself in the mirror after I'd pulled on some clean clothes and it was strange: I seemed to look different. Happier. More full of life. I looked more like the person who'd disappeared from my life along with Tony. After checking the time, I quickly ran a brush through my hair and stepped out of my bedroom.

"You're reading?" I asked in surprise, finding Tony sitting down with a book of mine.

"I do know how to, you know," Tony told me with a smile.

My eyes drifted to the title of the book; _Lolita_. Go figure. I was about to make a comment about this but I bit my tongue, grabbed my handbag and ushered us out my door. Something in me wasn't quite comfortable with falling back into our old bickering routine. Not just yet, anyway. I was worried one of us might somehow cross the line and then it would turn into a full-fledged fight. Like the one we had last night, or worse.

I left it to Tony to pick the place. I thought he'd have a place in mind seeing as he was the one to come up with the idea and I was right. It seemed like he'd be able to drive there in his sleep. It was an intimate café with modern décor-just the sort of place Tony would like.

We spent most of the time chatting about nothing in particular but our behaviour around each other was different to how it used to be. Tony seemed to be just as careful around me as I was around him, so not much bickering happened at all. Whenever we ate out before, we'd sample the other's food and fight about whose was better. But now, our hands didn't wander past our own plates. Neither of us wanted to irritate the other-we were on our best behaviour. And I was missing the teasing and the annoying DiNozzo moments.

He'd gone to the bathroom a couple of minutes ago when his phone, lying next to his plate on the table, rang. I picked it up and was about to answer it for him when I noticed the name on the screen. Jessica. Undoubtedly one of his Friday night hook ups.

Even though I must have realised at some point that Tony would be getting a few of these calls, it still took me completely by surprise. It was cold, hard evidence that what happened that night when I came to make up two years ago was still happening. My stomach tied itself up into thousands of little knots and my breaths felt short and harried. Could I get past the fact that this was how Tony had spent his time since we broke up? Could I forgive him for sleeping with someone just days after I'd put us on a break?

It felt like minutes had passed but it must have only been seconds because when Tony sat back down, his phone was still ringing in my hand.

"It's Jessica," I said, handing him the phone and trying to act nonchalant.

His face darkened for a moment and I expected him to ignore the call. Instead, he answered it.

"Jessica," he said.

I started fiddling with the napkin on my lap as I waited to hear what he said next.

"I'm good. Fantastic, actually. I'm seeing someone amazing and it's pretty serious."

Whatever I expected to hear, that wasn't it. I looked up in surprise and he was staring directly at me.

"Yep. I'm definitely not available."

Tony put his phone away and still continued looking at me, waiting for some kind of response. It was like he was asking me the question I asked myself earlier: could I get past all of this?

I looked down at my plate. I'd known the answer all along.

Picking up my fork, I leaned over and stole some of Tony's food before looking back up at him.

"Mine's better," I said with a smile.

Tony sampled some of my lunch and rolled his eyes.

"Definitely not," he declared, taking my outstretched hand in his own.

*************************

**Yay! Happy Tate! (For the time being, anyway.) I think we're probably nearing the end of this story, too, unless I suddenly decide to throw something else into the plot to lengthen it (which I doubt very much). So either enjoy it while this story lasts or be glad it's almost finished! And, of course:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Pretty please.)**


	6. Tony: Roses and Red Wine

**I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I spent virtually the entire time debating whether I should just end the story where it was or write one more chapter. I'm sure I should have spent that time thinking about my exams (which are now way too soon for my liking) but Tate is a MUCH better thing to have on one's mind!**

**Thank you again to all of the wonderful, **_**wonderful**_** reviewers of this story! I hope that you all enjoy the last chapter and thank you so much for all of your kind words.**

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We'd quickly settled into a routine. Every Friday after work, I'd pick up a bottle of red wine and head over to Kate's. We'd sit down on the couch with dinner and the wine, then spend a considerable amount of time arguing over what movie we'd watch. Eventually, we'd decide on one but I'd never watch it for long before realising how Kate's lips were stained by the wine-which was inevitably my duty to fix. The rest of the night would be spent kissing and talking until we went to bed, and Kate would fall asleep curled up in my arms. It was almost surprising how much I enjoyed waking up every Saturday, hang-over free and with the same woman. The Anthony DiNozzo of a few years ago would have laughed at the very idea of commitment and stability.

On this Friday night-five weeks into our routine-I was incredibly glad to see Kate. I'd just finished up with a very stressful week at work and I'd spent the whole time living for this moment, when I'd have her right next to me. I reached across the couch to Kate, pulling her close to me and kissing the top of her head. I breathed in deeply, the scent of Kate both relaxing and invigorating my body more than any drug ever could. My hand settled on her hip and her head lay on my shoulder. Kate angled her head to look up at me, running her hand through my hair and along my face.

"I miss you when you're not around, Tony."

I caught her hand in my own and intertwined our fingers. "I'm just one of those people, I guess. I can't help it."

Kate elbowed me painfully in the ribs. I looked down at her, about to complain like I normally did but something stopped me. Maybe it was the extremely stressful week combined with the…well, _Kate_-ness of Kate but a reaction I'd been trying to suppress for the past five weeks finally won over my self-control. A slow smile spread across my face as I grabbed her other hand and angled myself over her, so she was lying underneath me on the couch.

"Do you want to apologise for that, Kate? Or else you'll be at my mercy."

I kissed up her neck and along her jaw line to show her I meant business, stopping just short of her lips.

"So are you going to apologise?" I repeated playfully, my lips hovering just above hers.

"Definitely not," Kate whispered, her breath blowing into my mouth.

I picked her up in my arms, carrying her to her bedroom and laid her gently on her bed.

"Right-last chance," I said, pulling myself down so I was just above her again.

Kate gave me a sly grin before I felt her elbow connect with my ribs again and a giggle escape from her. She took advantage of my moment of weakness and positioned herself so she was on top of me.

"Looks like _you're_ at _my_ mercy now, doesn't it?" she whispered into my ear before we did something we hadn't done together in a long, long time.

----------------------------------------------

"Tony?" Kate called out to me on a Sunday morning a few weeks later. "What happened to my vase?"

I froze where I was standing in the kitchen, preparing myself a late breakfast (I spent virtually all my work-free weekends at Kate's now). She'd returned from Mass literally two seconds ago and I'd been counting on it taking her just a little bit longer than that to realise the vase from her living room had suddenly disappeared.

"What happened to my vase?" she repeated, stomping into the kitchen and stopping just in front of me with her hands placed threateningly on her hips.

"Ummm…." I scrambled around in my head, trying to find some way to make it work after being taken completely by surprise there. I realised with the slightest pang of regret that my breakfast probably wasn't going to happen now.

"That vase," Kate began furiously, "was my _great-grandmother's_. She bought it in Paris in the late 1800s. I _swear_ I told you that before-that time when you thought it would be funny to see how many things you could throw into it."

I opened my mouth to stop her before she got herself any more worked up but it was useless. My opening of "Kate" was drowned out by her next tirade.

"I swear to God Tony, if I find out you've done _anything _to harm it, I will-"

"Kate!" I yelled out in frustration, unable to think of any other way to get her to be quiet for just one second. It worked, though; she was looking up at me with her mouth firmly clamped shut in disapproval now. "Come with me."

I took her to her bedroom and led her to her bedside table, where the vase was sitting unharmed and overflowing with roses.

"You mean the vase is okay?" she asked, her shoulders deflating in relief and her eyes transfixed on this seemingly all-important object.

"Yep," I told her. "Great-grandmother's vase has never been better."

"Why the hell did you move it, Tony?" Kate exclaimed in disbelief, whirling around to face me. "All that stress for nothing."

"Haven't you noticed what's in it?" I asked her, pretending not to be hurt by her overlooking the bouquet of roses I'd bought while she'd been out that morning. (Do you even _know _how rare it is to get me out of bed that early on a Sunday morning when I don't have to go to work?)

Kate turned to examine the vase again. I'd thought about this moment a lot since we'd got back together. If I'd had my way, it would have been a lot more casual and spontaneous. But I figured Kate was pretty traditional, which was why I'd opted for red roses and why I sunk down onto one knee.

Noticing the movement I'd just made, Kate turned back to face me before she'd even found what I'd nestled amongst the roses.

"Oh my God," she whispered as she saw me on one knee and I suppressed rolling my eyes as I realised another part of my plan had been blown. In the original plan, she wasn't meant to notice that vase at all until we'd got into her room to go to bed that night. (I suppose me forgetting that the vase was a family heirloom didn't exactly help.) Also in the original plan…

"Uh…it wasn't meant to happen like this Kate," I told her, realising just how uncomfortable it was to be down on one knee. "You were sort of supposed to find something in the roses before you noticed me on my knee like this."

Kate made a motion as if to look at that damn vase of roses again but I gathered her hands in mine to stop her.

"Don't worry about that now. I know I'm screwing this all up, I know it's not perfect but…I love you, Kate. And I just don't work without you."

I took a deep breath as I worked up the courage to say the four words I never thought would leave my mouth. The four words I never actually thought I'd _want_ to say to anyone.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Kate said instantly, a huge smile spreading on her face. She yanked me up to my feet and answered in the affirmative several more times before pulling me into the most passionate kiss she'd ever given me. Actually, it was almost painful the way she bashed her lips against mine but I was too happy to really mind.

"Can I look through the roses now?" she asked me a few moments later after pulling away but she turned back to search the roses before I even had time to answer.

"Well, you were actually meant to do that _before_ I asked the question."

She swung her arm out behind her to hit me and I could see from where I was standing that her smile was just as big as mine. We were a couple of grinning idiots and I decided I never wanted to be anything else.

She gasped in delight a few seconds later when she found the ring. She turned to face me, holding it out so I could take it and put it on her finger myself.

"It's perfect," she sighed happily as we admired the twinkling solitaire diamond against her skin.

That was the word I'd use to describe her at that moment.

Perfect.

------------------------------

We'd been engaged for five months. We'd had our engagement party, we'd just sent out the invitations to our wedding (it was going to be in spring) and we'd given each other the spare keys to our places. I'd still spend every weekend at Kate's and we tried to catch up during the week if we both finished work early.

I was settling in for a quiet Wednesday night (I was planning on beer and a movie) when I heard my front door open and recognisable footsteps make their way to where I was sitting in the living room.

"Hey," I said warmly, getting up and going over to Kate. Her whole body felt tense when I took her in my arms and she seemed to cling onto me with a desperation I wasn't used to from her. I walked her over to my couch and sat the two of us down. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

She looked up at me with frightened eyes and grabbed my hand. I could feel her engagement ring digging into my skin and I was guessing the fact that she was still wearing it plus the fact she was cutting off the circulation in my hand meant that she wasn't about to end our relationship or engagement.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her, almost beginning to grow afraid myself.

She took a deep breath and grabbed my other hand just as tightly as I made an effort not to wince in pain.

"You haven't gone over to the sadistic sexual side, have you?" I asked, and was promptly answered with a swift kick to my shin. "Thought not."

But a part of me relaxed. If she was still able to berate me for my dirty mind then I knew that whatever was going on was something that the two of us would face together.

Taking another deep breath, she looked me steadily in the eye without loosening her death grip.

"There's something I have to tell you."

-----------------------------------

**Well, there it is. Do you think I should have added this chapter or that the story would have been better off without it? I have another story I've just started and the first chapter's almost done, so that'll be up very soon (hopefully). **

**Oh! It was really crazy: a few weeks ago, I spent my Sunday afternoon with the guy I like watching movies. We were going to watch **_**Rear Window**_** and I was thinking "wooooow, that's just like what happened in my story!" But then the DVD wouldn't play. Which was a bit of a downer and, to my way of thinking, a sign. But anyhow. I still thought it was funny how we so very nearly ended up re-enacting the first chapter of this story (minus the sprained thumb)…**

**Please let me know what you thought of this story-help me get through all of this awful exam study!-and, for the last time:**

**REVIEW!**

**(Pretty, pretty please.)**


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